Okay .. I’m the last guy on the Web to hear about ChuckNorrisFacts.com

I’m certain that I am. Even Chuck Norris knows about this site!

For months, my kids have been peppering me with tidbits like:

• There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
• Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

.. I though they were just being clever .. knight puns, anyone?

There’s a site with lots more. Some favorites from The Man Himself:

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
• Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

And my two favorites (du jour, anyway):

• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Get the Facts at Chuck Norris Facts.

Original Post: August 12, 2008

The HHB Weekend: Dinner at Marrakech

Thanks again (and again) to Jeannine Harsh for discovering Marrakech for the MIX08 team this past year. This is a follow-on post to “My Hedonistic-Healthy Birthday (HHB) Weekend” .. the restaurant and the experience deserve the extra attention.

Note that I love off-Strip stuff in Vegas; I drive like a local and am always ready for a new adventure, so please send me your suggestions.

Marrakech is only slightly off the beaten track .. less than a mile from the Westin Casuarina, and about a mile from The Strip. It is well worth the walk over.

The Marrakech Web Site says:

Dine on delicious Moroccan food served in the unique Moroccan manner enhanced by beautiful belly dancers. Stay as long as you wish, there is no rush here.

Service begins with washing each persons hands with lightly scented rose water. It successfully sets the stage for the highly anticipated, extravagant six-course meal offered by Marrakech.

And it does. But their brevity (a necessity in the modern Web) modestly understates the experience. Some pre-course details:

• Once seated, you are presented a towel that will be your friend (and a necessity) throughout the dinner. You then engage in a warm rosewater hand wash and place your drink order (full bar, although no Maker’s Mark .. I had Jack in my introductory Manhattan). The servers will answer any questions about the menu and are especially careful to ask about any food allergies, which I found quite comforting.
• On the menu: there really isn’t one .. yes they hand you a menu, but it’s essentially FYI. The restaurant serves a six-course Moroccan meal for a bargain prix fixe price of US$40.
• The belly dancers are complimentary (and to be complimented).
• The staff offered to explain each course to me as they served it, including describing how best to eat it. If that surprises you, please note that you are in a “no silverware zone” (save for the main course and fabulous dessert).
• The server will describe the spices and as much detail as you’re willing to absorb about the preparation and history of the course.
• The meal is served with a freshly-baked loaf of a neutral sesame bread. I was delighted about this, as was able to keep my hands relatively clean.

The courses (cobbled together with their site descriptions and my personal experience:

A delightful appetizer of tender shrimp: scampi seasoned in lemon, wine, parsley and garlic. Outstanding. I sopped up the garlic sauce with their amazing bread. I wasn’t going to be speaking with anyone after dinner.

The scampi is followed with Harira Soup: a lentil-and-rice soup with lemon and other spices.

Then comes Salade Marrakech: hummus, tomatoes, cucumber, olives and peppers. Incredible.

Candle-lit Filet Mignon Shish-Kebob. Tender and delicious.

If you know how I eat .. I’m finished by now (in fact, I was finished after the salad). However, they kept showing up with food:

The main course is a Royal Cous Cous platter served with Cornish Game Hen in a traditional raisin-vegetable sauce. This was a real treat (and I was happy to have a fork at this point).

For dessert, B’Stilla, a Moroccan favorite served with a delightful mint tea. The highlight of the meal (for me, anyway). I came here tonight because I wanted another look / taste of this dessert .. it alone is worth the trip. it’s a fillo dough pastry stuffed with walnuts, fruit, cinnamon and powdered sugar.

Marrakech makes an impression. Don’t miss a visit the next time you’re in Vegas!

Original Post: November 1, 2008

My Hedonistic-Healthy Birthday (HHB) Weekend (2008)

Those close to me and read this blog heard me discuss the possibility of a gala event in Las Vegas, tentatively titled “Michael’s Hedonistic-Healthy Fiftieth Birthday Weekend”.

Yeah: I am about as effective at product names as is Microsoft.

:: runrunrunrunrun ::

I admit, I had lofty plans. A number of guys, a few stand-up broads, a-la the Rat Pack:

• On the hedonistic side: Some all-night gambling and Strip-walking, a show or two, some terrific food.
• On the healthy side: Walk a lot, sleep in a day or two, extra gym time, pool time, walk some more.

However, the lofty plans of mice and men can, well, deflate in the face of reality, schedules and real life. So, in short, the guy trip unraveled, the stand-up broads sat down; you get the drift.

In the end, I realized that I just didn’t want to be responsible for anyone’s good time but my own. Selfish? Yeah. I earned it .. for this one weekend, I get to play.

So, I set my own agenda. Here’s what I wanted to do:

• Two one-hour sessions on the cross-trainer each day.
• Pool time, complete with sun and Mai-Tais.
• Sleep in and take an afternoon nap.
• Multiple walks, including at least one all-nighter.
• Dinner at my favorite steak house on The Strip.
• Dinner at Marrakech (this is as much a fact-finding mission as a meal: I want to make that dessert at home).
• Lose weight during the trip.
• Spend only House money during the trip.

Lofty agenda. Here’s what I did:

• Two hours on the cross-trainer each day; three hours on two days. :: strut :: Check.
• Pool time: a bit of a disappointment; relatively bad weather for the pool (wind and temperatures in the low 60s). However, I still managed to get two hours in the last two days .. but, no Mai Tais. With an “A for effort”: Check.
• I didn’t sleep in or take any naps. I know myself well enough to realize that I feel like I’m missing something when I sleep. Expected behavior.
• I took lots of walks (check out My SportsDo Activity Blog for October 11-14th, 2008). Sadly, didn’t do the all-nighter .. if you can believe it, I found I was too tired with all the other activity. I’ll make that up on my next working trip to Vegas. Rationalized with reality behavior.
• Dinner at my favorite steak house on The Strip: the Steakhouse at Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall. It’s in the okay-to-decent realm; no where near over the top. Good food: some table side dishes and a reasonably-priced wine menu. The staff knows me there and takes very, very good care of me. It also has the bonus of being within a block of my hotel, the Westin Casuarina. Check.
• Dinner at Marrakech. The experience was so much fun, I wrote a separate post, “The HHB Weekend: Dinner at Marrakech” which contains all the details. Check.
• Spend only house money during the trip. Almost. Room, meals, tips, incidentals: covered with cash. I paid for airfare with miles and upgraded using my card; about $150. The rental car was on a complimentary weekend rental, plus one day at the weekend rate; about $45, with gas. I came home with $200 over my stake. Who da man? Check.
• The car I hired to take me from the airport back to my hotel after returning my rental car: covered with cash (damn it). Why did I do that crazy thing? Well, left my wallet in the room. Who da dumbass?
• The crazy crystal cube with my 3D visage in it (I’ll share it, if I can figure out how to take a picture of it): covered with cash.

All in all, a wonderful trip and the ideal way for me to have spent my mid-life-point birthday.

Original Post: November 1, 2008

What is it with summer time food ..

.. that you must wear to truly enjoy? I’m thinking:

• Ribs
• Corn on the Cob
• S’Mores

.. what are you wearing for dinner tonight? 😛

Original Post: August 11, 2008

The ULTIMATE Fashion Statement while Wi-Fi Roguing

Or, at the least, the apparel to demonstrate you’re able to connect.

You remember wi-fi ‘roguging’?

It’s the fine art of connecting to wi-fi networks that aren’t yours.

Granted, not all connections to wireless networks are, shall we say, inappropriate, but here’s a cool way to detect a network without whipping out your laptop.

This shirt lights up when you’re within wi-fi range.

It doesn’t discern between secured and open networks .. you’ll have to sort that on your own.

ThinkGeek gives us the “WI-FI Detector Shirt”

Original Post: October 9, 2007

Forbidden Lego Projects

Some look downright dangerous, actually. This is a video of a brick shooting gun on YouTube:

I’m hiding this post from Hunter, though: his last Lego project was an airplane that never quite got off the ground.

But .. what if it had fuel? 😉

Forbidden projects are said to be those projects the master builders work on ‘in the back room’.

Unlike the safe-and-sound master builder projects (did you see the cool Harry Potter model a few years ago?), these can run in the realm of, well, dangerous.

The MBs combine bricks, modified building techniques and in a pinch, household materials.

Previous projects include a catapult, ping-pong ball launcher and gun.

Don’t try this at home, folks. Well, unless you buy the book, of course.

Original Post: August 28, 2007

Live Rube Goldberg Machines

My Hunter is keen on all things Rube Goldberg.

These two involve:

• A slinky
• An umbrella
• A vibrating cell phone
• A chessboard
• A dart board
• A few bottles of wine

For what more could you ask?

Bayham & Tyers (a now-defunct company, but a still-living partnership) gives us two videos: “The Contraption” and "The Contraption II".

Now, at a far-higher production cost (I’m guessing) OK GO released a YouTube video of “This too shall pass”, another live-action Rube Golderg Machine.

Original Post: June 28, 2007; updated June 6, 2011

Language is a lousy way to express emotion

I’m serious. Language is a lousy way to express emotion.

So much of expressing emotion is nuance: the tilt of the head (or raising an eyebrow, if you’re that fancy), a knowing glance, a comfortable silence.

We are, in many cases forced to express emotion verbally; using clumsy language, consisting of words.

It’s insane of us humans to think that we can express such deep feelings in such a crude way. I am starting to think of it as trying to hone crystal with river rock.

Granted, we are not all similarly afflicted: poets have managed to instill emotion using only words. That said, do you think there are a number of first-draft poets out there? Of course, poets draw on the collective consciousness and baseline knowledge of how people feel when describing a situation.

Musicians? Maybe.

Screenwriters? Not applicable. They have images and music and story-leading-up-to-the-moment.

Playwrights? See ‘screenwriters’, above, sans the music.

You get my drift. Disagree, if you must: I’m feeling frisky lately (it’s Spring!) and I’m ready for a debate.

Original Post: September 28, 2006

Got a call from Robert Redford ..

Hi, this is Robert Redford ..

Mr. Redford! How nice of you to call. I have truly enjoyed your body of work, and I’m delighted to hear from you.

.. I’m seeking your support on proposition ..

Your call is very timely. I was just thinking about the movie, "The Candidate", in which you played ..

.. after all, it’s only fair to those involved, and more fair to you.

.. a candidate whose goal was to get elected to a Senate seat. He had the right look (yours), the right hair (yours), the right teeth (yours), the best suit and the hottest handlers in the business.

So, be sure to vote in the next few days and ..

He didn’t have a message per se, and decided to tweak the establishment. In the end, is anti-strategy worked, and he won the election.

.. it’s right for those involved and right for you.

The last line of the film was the most poignant: after winning, with the press clamoring to get into your hotel room to interview you, you turned to your campaign manager and asked "What now?".

Thank you for your support.

What now, Robert?

Original Post: November 2, 2006