Five years, 50 pounds and two chins later ..

My birthday is next month, so time for a new license.

Even though these look like mug shots, I just had to share:

FiveYears50Pounds20070929

Veggie Art

MutantMickeyMousePancake20070928The closest I can come to this is a mutant Mickey Mouse pancake that I’ll make for Cassie for a weekend breakfast.

I used to cut it for her and make "ouch" noises as I did so.

Only until she was old enough to tell me it creeped her out.

This happened surprisingly early, by the way.

Connor won’t touch anything that’s green (including Lime Jell-O and guacamole; I’ve tried).

He is game for Sushi these daze, though.

Hunter? Fuggedaboudit.

Hunter is carbo-boy. We keep a bag o’pasta in the refrigerator for when he gets the munchies.

If torturing vegetables like this provides a means of getting kids to eat them (sans sound effects, of course), I’m game:

CryingOranges20070928

This snap from "Food for Thought", by Joost Elffers and Saxton Freymann.

When you are paid a compliment ..

.. how do you act? What do you do?

While I have a huge ego (my perception of this is that it’s well under control), I stutter and mumble when someone pays me a compliment.

Thanks to lifehack for posting: "How to Take a Compliment". Worth a read.

Yellow!

I just have to share:

YellowSweatshirtCassie  YellowSweatshirtDad20070927

My, what an interesting button in the Ford Escape

EscapeButton20070926While pondering the instrument panel on a rented Ford Escape, I noticed the most interesting button.

Now, it’s an interesting coincidence that I was in the heat of receiving static from the passenger side of the car at the time.

Not that I was looking for an ‘eject’ button.

However, my seeing it, and the timing when I saw it .. such a coincidence!

In the heat of the static .. I pushed it.

I pushed it again.

The static continued.

Perhaps it’s better said as haiku:

Oh, eject button.

Why is it that you taunt me?

I press. Wait. Nothing.

Fortunately, we arrived without further incident.

Shrinking the Transaction Log File

Seems my database has been a bit busy, scraping comment spam out of the content table and archiving them for future reference. Each scrape and move is a transaction, which gets stored in the transaction log file for the blog database.

I had a disk space issue (i.e., too much trance), a backup failed and the transaction log failed to back up. Upon that failure, the log didn’t get truncated, so it grew out of control.

A quick Bing Search for "sql server shrink database" and I uncovered "How to use the DBCC SHRINKFILE statement to shrink the transaction log file in SQL Server 2005".

Subjunctive Identity Theft .. From American Express?

Say it ain’t so. Please. First of all, what is the subjunctive?

Subjunctive: a grammatical mood that expresses doubts, wishes and possibilities.

I also think of it as:

That which has not happened, but is in the realm of possibility.

Either definition, I titled this post thusly to describe a scenario I just experienced.

  • I pick up a voice mail from American Express, for a "non-sales purpose" (meaning, it’s not a marketing call). The recorded caller gives me a toll-free number.
  • I call the number, where I get a sparkly answering machine that sing-songs "American Express" to me and puts a representative on the line. The first thing the representative says: "May I have your account number?".
  • Umm .. I realize the process simply cannot start until I identify myself to the representative, but I am not about to give my account number in response to a voice mail with a toll-free number I don’t recognize.
  • I advise the representative I am responding to a voice mail from their office and that I’m not comfortable giving her my account number. I ask if I could give her my name and have her look me up that way.

She says she cannot.

  • I ask her why my phone number (which is not blocked) hasn’t identified me to their system.

She says this particular toll-free number doesn’t have that kind of detection.

  • I express my concern about this and suggest that this is a process that is rife with privacy and account risks.

She is apologetic.

  • Finally, I ask if I may call the phone number on the back of my American Express card to ensure I’m connected to their system.

She says that would be fine.

  • I dial in, get the same sing-song "American Express" and press keys to get another representative. I explain the situation to her and she asks me for my card number.
  • I reiterate my concern about the previous call.

She is apologetic.

  • As I know I’m speaking with the legitimate system, I will give her the card number for the affected account.
  • Note that I have three American Express cards, and there was no indication of which card was affected.
  • I give her a card number.
  • She confirms my zip code and another data point to confirm I’m who I say I am.
  • She busily cross-references my other accounts and finds the card with the activity that generated the call.
  • She describes erroneous data entry; specifically, the clerk fat-fingered my zip code on a recent purchase (coincidentally, woman’s shorts, from my recent coffee mishap, actually).

I confirmed I had made the purchase and thanked her for her diligence and we were finished. However, their process has severe security flaws:

  • Initial contact made by an automated voice mail. Note that anyone could have made the initiating call, and setting up a ‘drop’ (someone to pick up and role-play these questions) is trivial these days.
  • The voice mail doesn’t contain a unique case identifier. This would allow representative cross-reference the proper account once the customer calls in.
  • The first question asked is "what is your account number". Bollocks. See above.
  • No way for the representative to cross-reference accounts without an account number. If the representative had read certain data back to me to confirm my identity, I’d have been more comfortable with the call.

You could liken this to getting phished in an email with the subject line of "Your account is at risk" with a URL to click or phone number to dial in.

American Express: This is broken. Please fix it.

Credit card holders: this is a risk. Be very, very careful giving credit card information over the phone. Be hard on the companies who ask you for this kind of information without proper safeguards.

Okay, so today, I’m a wolf in woman’s clothing

I had an incredibly splashy coffee mishap at the hotel this morning, rendering my favorite cargo shorts unusable for the day (or forever, from the looks if it). Despite the lather-rinse-repeat treatment, they remain horribly stained and reside soaking wet in my Tumi.

Fortunately, a 24-hour Walgreen’s came to the rescue (well, I went to them to get rescued) with a nice pair of khaki shorts that are comfortable, roomy and just my size.

Unfortunately, they’re for dames, not for dudes. Of course, with my un-tucked Polo, no one can tell the difference.

Well, I can: there’s no zipper. No belt, either, just this handy drawstring, like a bathing suit. Unlike a swimsuit, there’s no "package control" inside, but my tighty-whities see to this nicely.

The zipper thing puzzles me though: there’s a flap like as though there’s a zipper therein, but nothing underneath. The flap, not the shorts.

I get that there doesn’t need to be a zipper (for all the obvious reasons), but it’s a bit unusual from my (grunt) male perspective nonetheless.

Hunter’s Early Dismissal Note

HunterEarlyDismissal20070916This is priceless.

He wrote a note for his teacher requesting early dismissal.

The note reads:

Note for you, Mrs. Russell.

Need my parents to pick me at 1155 ’cause I’m goin’ to Woodland Park Zoo.

Yours truly,

Hunter

I’m guessing Hunter isn’t enjoying school quite as much as we’d hope.

At least he didn’t sign it: "Hunter’s Dad".

What is your Autism Quotient?

Newsweek points me to "The Autism Spectrum Quotient", with interesting results.